On 2012

I have enjoyed reading everyone’s reflections on 2011’s exit and the arrival of 2012.  Truth be told, I am a total sucker for new beginnings.  I love the way a small calendar shift moves people to pause and examine, resolve and hope.

But this time around I’m not feeling particularly compelled to evaluate. I don’t have much in the way of resolutions to offer.

This year I’m pregnant.

What I’d really like to say is that I intend to do my best to prepare for the impending arrival. That I believe that 2012 wields the kind of magic that can make me a better mother to two than I ever was to one.  That I will discover new ways to inch my way toward greater balance, despite the upheaval.

But what I’ve learned is that pregnancy robs me of my power of self-determination.  It leaves me with no illusion of control.  When it demands, I surrender.

So this year I will do my best to succumb with dignity.  And I will grab on to a sliver of that hope that is so plentiful this time of year, dispatching an earnest request to 2012 that it doesn’t bring me anything that 2013 might not allow me to recover from.

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7 thoughts on “On 2012

  1. Rachel @ Eggs In A Row

    ” That I will discover new ways to inch my way toward greater balance, despite the upheaval.”

    Love that line!

  2. Succumbing with dignity to the lack of control is one of the hardest things. I like referring to it as the vagaries of obstetrics. From getting pregnant to stillbirth to premature delivery and beyond, it’s shockingly outside our hands.

    My big breakthrough the other day is that I should go ahead and freely give my heart to these two I am currently carrying, as they already have it anyway.

  3. Esperanza

    This.

    “And I will grab on to a sliver of that hope that is so plentiful this time of year, dispatching an earnest request to 2012 that it doesn’t bring me anything that 2013 might not allow me to recover from.”

    Amen to that. I hope that for all of us.

  4. A very sensible, if painfully-learned, approach to a new year. I hope it will be a year filled with joy and wonderful new lessons about motherhood and self for you.

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