The honeymoon phase

 

All of this balance is going to my head.

The boys bound off to school each morning, barely pausing to acknowledge my long line of postscripts.  Are you sure you have your sweatshirt?  Don’t forget the extra snack I put in your backpack!  One last kiss? Have a great day at school!

I marvel at the fact that that they are both so well adjusted.  And it makes me squirm a little to acknowledge that they are so much better off without me, at least for a significant part of the day.  I see in myself the plight of the wavering partner who, once rejected, discovers a passion that has never burned so hot.  And so I  smother them with my sloppy sentiments every chance I get.

And then there are all of those hours.  Glorious, wide-open hours full of promise and the intimidating challenge of learning to build with a precious material that I’ve never been able to afford.

Things will change soon.  They always do.  But for now, I’m delirious.

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2 thoughts on “The honeymoon phase

  1. I love me some kids with sticks! They are beautiful and joyous. I am experiencing a tiny microcosm of this as I get TWO HOURS on Monday while the Buns are at school. It IS an intimidating challenge. I urge you to take things slowly, not demanding too much of yourself or feeling obligated to use your solid gold in any particular way, because as you say, who knows what’s coming next. Hopefully something that will enrich your soul, but maybe just the flu.

  2. I love sending my kids off in the morning and hearing their stories at night, and sometimes they reassure ME that it’s OK that I’m not there all the time. Which makes me think that I’ve raised them right, somehow.

    Just wanted to respond to your note, though, about unpaid labor and SAHM volunteers at schools … you’re so right to note that in many places where that luxury doesn’t exist, there are fewer resources to support the schools (both financially and in terms of human capital). I hadn’t ever thought about it in such stark terms before … thanks for commenting!

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