In order to escape the scorching heatwave that descended upon us during our last days in Sicily, we took the funivia up to the very lovely historical town of Erice. I understand that there are quite a few interesting things to see there but we stuck to the inside of the bakeries and ice cream shops. Taking it very easy, we wound our way through the old streets to the castle at the top of the mountain and spectacular views of the rolling hills and seaside below. g is a huge fan of staircases and he found a long flight of stairs to the side of the castle that he absolutely had to explore. Of course, G and I followed and the stairs led us to a small path carved into the side of the mountain. It was clear that someone had gone out of his way to lead us somewhere but it wasn’t the least bit clear why. The path ended abruptly at the base of the castle. There was nothing but a small metal grate. Peering inside I saw a hollow cave and a small statue of a woman. I offered my greetings.
Later, as we sat at a local coffee bar, I read a little bit about the history of the town. It turns out that it had been an ancient center where people came from all over to worship the fertility goddess, the venus Ericina. I sent a request to her on behalf of all the lovely ladies I know from this space who could really use her help. And then I stepped in to use the bathroom before we began our trip back to where we were staying. It was then that I noticed, for the first time since g’s birth, clear signs that I was ovulating. The combination of events was just too strong to ignore. It seemed that I was being sent a message: “this could happen for you”. “Last call”, I think I added. I suddenly felt ready to try.
The next few days were filled with late nights with old friends and G and I didn’t get so much as a chance to talk alone. The moment passed and I later marveled at the folly of my thinking. Even if I were lucky enough to become pregnant again, I have an abysmal track record. I would be almost 40 by the time the baby would be born and we are in absolutely no position to take on the extra burden of another child. Silly me, indeed. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I have been feeling strange as of late. Jet lag seems to be hitting me unusually hard this time and I have had random waves of unexplained nausea. I’m not exactly sure when my last period was but I wanted to calm the voice in the back of my mind that chimed in loudly this morning when I woke thinking of McDonald’s breakfast sandwiches. I decided to take a pregnancy test just to rule it out.
And I’m not even sure how she did it.